I grew up in a big family. My mother stayed home and my father worked. We weren’t wealthy. My parents stretched every penny. There were times when we were on food stamps and received assistance. It’s probably no surprise that I dreamed of being rich since I was a kid. I never wanted to be ridiculously wealthy or anything like that. Just enough to live comfortably. This dream grew more as I got older. It was a big part of my whole plan for life, the plan that didn’t happen. I have so desperately wanted to make enough money to not have to worry about my finances. And while I have yet to reach that point, for awhile I was doing okay. Just barely over the line of drowning.
Being married to a college student is tough. This world is not made for single income households anymore. Unless that single income happens to be six figures. It doesn’t seem to matter how many corners we cut, how many debts we pay off, how much we save.. each month we sit down and stress over our finances. Seriously, combining things didn’t feel like it saved us money. Just made everything seem like it was costing us more. And of course we’ll be paying off our wedding for the next few years at least.
Sigh. I just want to be able to go buy a new dress (not second hand), get my kid some new shoes, go see a movie, get a new haircut, and know that I didn’t break the bank. And we’re getting ready to head into the most expensive time of the year. There’s heating costs in the winter, holidays that involve extra food and gifts, and spending a lot more time indoors (more electricity usage). We live paycheck to paycheck. And we will probably continue to live that way for awhile. Hubby has 4 1/2 more years until he’s done with school. And then however long it takes him to find a job. I sometimes fantasize about winning the lottery. Seriously, even an extra $20k would help! Just to have that cushion there would make all the difference. But I don’t play because I don’t have dollars to waste on non-winning tickets.
(And just for the record, I did recently buy Theo two brand new pairs of shoes. He grows way too fast for my wallet. But we aren’t destitute.)