I seem to be going through a phase in my life where God is once again trying to teach me patience. This is definitely a lesson I have a hard time learning. Those who know me well know that I have tried so hard to plan every detail of everything in my life from the time I was about 9. That was the age when I first started writing. And when I first really starting to become passionate about writing. And when my passion in writing somehow lead to my passion in planning. I have constantly tried to hurry through parts of my life to get to other parts. And then to reach those and immediately move on to planning the next. I struggle a lot with learning to live day by day and in the moment and smelling the roses and what ever other phrase there is that says enjoy life!
Becoming a mom taught me a lot about patience. Babies and children require calm parents who can explain things slowly and handle situations without over-reacting. And as my son gets older I am constantly needing more and more patience. Each new thing I try to teach him takes time. Recently its been tying his shoes. I have to mentally remind myself to let him do things on his own. If I continue to jump in and do things for him, how will he ever learn? Even if it is terribly exhausting waiting for him to finish a task or grasp a concept, I have to PATIENTLY wait. It is a great time to practice my relaxation techniques.
Despite all the patience I feel I have developed in the past 5 years, it apparently hasn’t been enough. I find myself in another phase in my life where what I want and what I’m getting are not the same thing. And its frustrating. I am struggling to remind myself that its not about my plans but God’s plans for me. And that my timing and His timing don’t always line up. While it isn’t always easy to find comfort in these thoughts, I do feel better knowing that He wants me to be happy. I just have to let go and remember that he has my best interests at heart. He has a perfect plan for my life. And someday I will get there. Patiently.